When Life Doesn’t Unfold as Expected

December 26, 2019 1 Comment


(dramatic piano music) – I am aging that’s for sure but I’m not retired and I doubt I ever will be. Because of my husband’s
frontal temporal dementia which was no discovered until he ruined our finances, I’m pretty sure I will be working to get out from under that
debt the rest of my days. I certainly didn’t expect
this to happen to us. I always assumed we would retire out west to a ski resort or to Arizona where a lot of our friends winter. We would golf, we would ski. And maybe we would even
help out our three children. But instead, I found
myself broke and alone. Old friends disappeared. This certainly wasn’t what I
thought my 60s would look like. I miss my husband a lot. I really miss a partner by my side. But I’ve learnt a lot as I’ve embarked on this new unexpected life. I discovered I am much stronger than I ever imagined. I learnt to be a caregiver and
an advocate for my husband. I learned to have a joyful attitude, at least, most of the time when I went to visit
him at the care center. My world opened up once
I learned to move on. And it feels good. When you are widow, there’s always that
empty chair next to you. And that empty chair used to
make me feel so sad and lonely. But now I’ve learned
that someone interesting just might come and sit in
that chair and they have. I’m not wintering out west now but I did rediscover the
north shore of Minnesota. I’m not playing that
frustrating game of golf. Instead I’m hiking. I’ve learned mushroom identification
by taking a few classes and hey, I haven’t had
my stomach pumped yet and that’s a good thing. I want people to know, especially women who are
in my similar situation, to let go of all that you’ve lost and instead, find joy in each day. You deserve to be happy. I know my husband would
want me to be happy. As Mary Oliver wrote in
her poem “The Summer Day,” “Tell me, what it is you plan to do “with your one wild and precious life?”

One Reply to “When Life Doesn’t Unfold as Expected”

  1. 陳齊家 says:

    Thank you for sharing such a wonderful video.

    As a family member of the patient I feel the same way.

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