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4 key ways I’m living my best life | The June Motel + Your Best Life Retreat


(soft music) – Another retreat, another
early, early morning. (upbeat music) Today, I am in Prince Edward County at the beautiful June Motel,
it’s my friend’s motel, and I am here for another retreat. It’s Elise’s Best Life. I’m here at the Best Life
retreat hosted by Ingo. Hosted by Ingo Rauth, who is a professor from
University of Toronto. He calls himself an innovation shrink, so he basically walks you through how to look at your
life as it currently is, and design it in a way of how
you ultimately want it to be. This has been 2-1/2
days of looking inwards, and thinking about my life in a way that I really haven’t taken
the time to do so maybe ever, so some of the exercises
were really challenging, but I think really,
really worthwhile, too. So in this video I want
to cover four takeaways that I’ve learned from
attending the Best Life retreat. The first takeaway is this idea that there are actually formulas
for things in life like luck, and finding meaning, and
having purpose in your life. For me, those ideas are
pretty big and abstract, and things that I haven’t really thought that I’ve had much control over, but Ingo is an engineer, a designer, and he really breaks things down to be very methodical in a way. You can engineer luck in your life, and it actually made me
think quite a bit about the law of attraction industry, and the manifestation industry. A lot of it is built on this idea of actually creating luck for yourself. So what this tells me
is that all these ideas that I thought were intangible
or out of my control I could actually approach with a method. For example, I can cultivate, like actually create more
luck for myself in my life by getting myself into new situations, which goes back to that saying that luck is preparation
meeting opportunity, right? So getting myself into new situations. Relaxing to see the
opportunities around me versus operating from this
place of stress and anxiety. Listening to my gut. Expecting good fortune. Now this one really made
me think of, you know, the laws of attraction and manifestation, but by just fostering the mentality of good luck coming your way
it actually generates it. The other aspect of generating luck is just reframing things
meaning your attitude. Do you see yourself as someone with bad luck, or
bad fortune, or, you know, things don’t really pan out
the way you want them to be. You can change that and have
an actual impact in your life just by reframing and
changing your attitude. So I thought that was really
cool because like I said these big ideas that I always thought I didn’t have much control over they can actually be
broken down into a formula, and you can create strategies in your life to make them happen. The second takeaway from
attending your Best Life retreat was one on how to deal with this idea of jealousy or envy
that you might have for others whether it’s the type of life they live, or the type of business they have. Now this one I’m flipping
a little bit on its head because Ingo didn’t actually
walk us through these emotions, but this is kind of what I got out of it. Ingo had us go through an
exercise where we had to list out people that were superheroes to us whether they were a real person,
or a fictional character. Now, an example of someone who I listed down was Marie Forleo, and if you’re in the online business space you know that she is a really big name, a successful entrepreneur. She runs B-School,
really big online brand, and I think what she does is
really amazing and impactful. He had us flip the script
where we crossed them out, and we thought of ourselves as that person with those qualities, so for Marie Forleo I wrote down that I really see her as a superhero because she is so outgoing, you know, she puts herself
out there as she is. She’s not afraid to have fun. She’s not afraid to be goofy, and that makes her really
memorable and different. You know, someone who you admire, but at the same time you
might have some envy, or jealousy towards
because of what they have, flip the script, you know,
cross out their name, put your name there
and see how that feels. Can you see yourself as someone who has qualities of a
person you admire, right? Could I see myself like Marie
Forleo who’s so outgoing, like so extroverted, and
she puts herself out there, and she dances and she has fun. The whole point of this
exercise is to just put on that persona and see how it feels. It doesn’t mean that you
have to become that person, but it’s just this idea
of what if you embraced the qualities that you
actually admire in others, and what if you could apply
elements of those qualities to your life, your
personality, your business. I think that’s my trigger is anytime I might come
across anyone in my space where I’m like, ooh, I
want to be like that, or, ooh, that’s really cool. I can instead see that as a sign that there’s something
in them that I admire, and why not just try that
on for size, you know, see what it’s like to
think of myself as someone with their qualities and
what they have to give. The third takeaway is this idea of meaning comes from
creation or experiences. So one activity that Ingo led us through was writing down a peak
experience in our life. So what’s a peak experience? When you look back on your life what are those experiences that really stand out to you as peaks like a high, or really, really happy time, and I noticed a really interesting trend. They all had something to do
with creation or experiencing, so half of my experiences
were about travel. There were some really cool
places that I got to see like the British Virgin Islands and Kenya. Those moments of travel
really stood out to me because they resulted in this experience I’d never had before. Now, the other half of my peak experiences were related to my business, and, you know, reaching a
certain milestone in my business, or launching or creating something
and putting it out there. When I looked at those
things that stood out they all had something
to do with creation. So that was a light bulb moment for me that when it comes to
defining meaning in my life I know that whether it
gives me an experience, or it gives me the ability to create that’s where I’m gonna find meaning. So instead of meaning being
this really abstract idea that’s just too big to wrap my head around this makes it a lot more tangible. Will this be something that I can have a unique experience from, or will I be able to create from it? That’s generally where I’m
gonna find meaning in my life. The fourth takeaway from the Best Life retreat
was embracing drawing. So, here’s an example of what I mean. These are some quick sketches. Nothing fantastic, but
Ingo walked us through why drawing is really important
for us to express ideas. Drawings can have more
meanings than a single word, so he really encouraged us to visualize the next year of our life,
or two years, or five years, whatever it might be through pictures. Now this was probably the
most challenging thing that I did all weekend. It was kind of funny because it’s like how often did you do this in kindergarten, or grade one, right? It reminded me of elementary
school quite a bit, but it was like a muscle
that I hadn’t flexed, or used in years and it was so weak. It used up a lot of brain power, and was giving me a headache,
was making me tired, but that’s how I knew I
needed to work through it. A symbol has so much more
meaning to it than a word. The exercise was to draw out what we wanted to accomplish,
or see, or do, or be, in the next year, two years,
three years, four years, and five years of our life. If you are ever feeling
like you’re plateauing, or you’re stuck, or you’re confused, I would highly recommend to get a… (cell phone ringing) Going back to drawing. It might feel really awkward,
and like your hand will hurt, and they’ll be a lot of
questions, why am I doing this? I’m not five years old again, but if you’re ever feeling stuck, overwhelmed with options, anxiety, feeling like you have
a million directions, and you don’t know where to go I think that pulling out
a blank piece of paper, and just to start sketching
where you see yourself ideally, like don’t be realistic, don’t hold back, where you ideally want to see yourself six months down the
road, or even 12 months, and if you’re feeling ambitious you can go up to five
years as I’ve done here. You should try it and
see how it goes for you. It was really hard to picture
what I actually wanted, and that gave me a lot of good perspective on what I have right now. What I have right now is pretty awesome. It’s pretty close to what I always wanted my dreams to be. Does that make sense? My reality is pretty close
to the dreams I once had, and that was a really
cool realization to have. I was really trying to wrack my brain like what more could I see for myself? What more do I want to be doing? Do I want to create
more, or experience more? I already create and experience
quite a bit in my life, and going through this experience of drawing out the next
five years of my life made me really see that
and appreciate so much more where I’m at and where I’ve come. So those are my four takeaways
from the Best Life retreat that I’ve attended here at
the beautiful June Motel in Prince Edward County. I highly recommend it if
you ever come to Ontario, and you want to see a very picturesque, very pretty, very dare I say
Instagram friendly motel, plus April and Sarah the
owners are super nice, very awesome and great hosts as well. If you liked this video go
ahead and give it a like, and let me know below which was your favorite
takeaway from the retreat. Was it one, two, three or four? And as always if you
want to follow my journey behind the scenes make sure to follow me on
Instagram at Elise Darma, and you can join me for
all of my activities, and retreats as they happen. All right, I’ll see you in the next video. Oh, what is the sign-off? – [Man] This is Darmanation signing off for Darma
time and Darma rhyme.

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